Sunday, 2 March 2014

Yesterday was a lie

She has a yesterday, where each and every thing is a lie and she is the only naked truth standing alone in that sands of her past. Tears started to roll down from her beautiful eyes only to die on her rosy lips.

Seeing her crying, I remembered something that i had read some ages ago “ I always wanted to be that tear drop that is conceived in her heart, born from her eyes, live on her cheeks and die on her lips “

She is Lonely, disturbed, depressed and worried. I could see her sitting in a dark room. I could hear her silent cries. I hope one day she would know that I heard her crying out loud. Her head’s like a kite. Memories that slept deep and calm in the dungeons of her heart rose. Silence hugged her. Loneliness harassed her and time never healed her. She had many irrational voices going through her mind, planting ideas of killing herself.

I could barely see her face. She's like an angel who lost her address to the heaven and got trapped in this human domicile. Though her eyes were filled by sorrow, she looked so divine, a masterpiece art. I had a sudden urge to kiss her...

She closed her ears forcefully with her hands, trying not to listen to those irrational voices. She yelled, cried and cried. I thought I would extend my hand to rescue her, console her and tell her that I love her. I could see her eyes, tear clouded and fully tired. I loved her eyes. I just loved to stare at them and in a split of a second everything seemed alright and perfect. They are a beautiful sight to look at. They some times look brown, black and even blue, just like a deep blue sea that shimmers and shines. 

That was late December and the room was too cool and silent. Any one could even hear their blood rushing through their veins, Such was the silence. I saw her palm, so soft. I slid my index finger about a millionth of  a millimeter closer to her palm. when my tip of my finger touched her, she did not say anything. she did not even withdraw her hand. I know she couldn't see me or feel me. I swear touching her that way is driving me crazy. I hold her hand in mine, laced my fingers through her's. They were more delicate and petite. 

I could see her shivering with cold. She started to feel, there was no one who cares. She lied on the floor, helpless. heavy hearted. She closed her eyes trying to sleep but her attempts went in vain. She is tired and sad. She got trapped in a sea of stinging emotions. Her pain became unbearable for her.

Finally she opened her book. I could see some letters. I sensed those were some old letters. I walked to the window side to have a clear look of them. The first was crinkled and i guess it was the oldest one. It is yellow and has been creased many times so that anyone could rip the folded parts in a perfect straight line. There were about twenty of those letters. She started to read them with her tear clouded eyes. They were the letters written by me when i was alive.

She cried and cried…

She stood up, opened the wooden box. There was dust all over it. It looked as if it hasn't been used since many years. She searched for something. I was there looking at her anxiously. I couldn't understand what’s going on. She grabbed a rusty blade. She closed her eyes forcefully. I was in utter shock. I couldn't do anything. She is about to kill herself. I started to shout, pleading her not to do such a stupid thing. She couldn't hear me. I tried to catch hold of her hand. But my hand just passed through her body, unable to hold her, unable to stop her. I forgot I’m no longer a human form. I’m a soul still loving her deep down my heart. She was about to die. 

She forced the rusty blade slitting her veins deep over her wrist. The dark red blood poured out of her hand on to the floor. I couldn't do anything. I shouted in anger. I shouted for help. I cried, yelled but nothing is in my hands. No one could hear me. I could see a long vertical gash over her wrist with the rusty blade in between her fingers. She started to feel weaker as the time started to slide. Her body collapsed on to the floor and she began to feel the pain slowly suppress as she finally entered the endless sleep. She laid there dead, free of all her emotions, loneliness and cries. All i felt was a burning pain inside my heart. I was there crying looking at her unable to catch hold of her, still calling somebody for help

Then i woke up in a cold sweat, tears in my eyes and unable to catch my breath. Another day begins...

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